This is Not an Apology
Photography by Olivia D'Orazi
I know I am a walking contradiction.
Some days, I drink tequila and swear like the pirate, damning society for their small minded perceptions & social constructs. Other days, I escape my own shadow only to find her sitting there at the end of my bottle of cabernet. Slowly drifting into the deep sea of isolation. Some, I radiate the warrior of all the trails I have endured. Another, I am drenching friends in essential oils, speaking love over them and highlighting the strengths I see within their shining souls (forcing them to hold my crystals no doubt). Then, I'm a groovy little pixie forgetting all her fears on the dance floor.
I'm trying to come to a place where I no longer apologize for who I am. To live unapologetically myself. Unfortunately, for some the full expression of myself is intense. Do I tone myself down like I have done the majority of my life? Do I hide these parts of me that make others uncomfortable? Am I really making them uncomfortable or is that the perception I have from past rejection? Or is their reaction merely a mirror of unresolved issues in their heart? After all a person can only meet you as far as they have met themselves.
"Realizing that I'm not for everyone, was the most beautiful thing I ever learned. Realizing that I'm not for everyone, emancipated me and took the handcuffs off my spirit." -Billy Chapata